Pooh Bear: "Think, think think..."

Dear Friends,

I have always been a thinker, but this current rotation has made me quite the thinker.

There was an unfortunate case in which the patient had neck cancer. He developed an open wound that wouldn't heal; instead, the wound grew bigger as a result of the cancer. Because it was located on his neck, he would die either from suffocation or it would eventually eat away at his carotid artery and he would bleed to death. He passed away the other night of the latter scenario. It was apparently fast, but there was a lot of blood. I hope he wasn't scared.

Another patient recently got married for the third time. The couple is so adamant that he will be cured of his lung cancer that has spread to his brain and bones. I think that his hopefulness lies in the fact that he wants to live to resolve what he has done in the past. From what he has said, it seems that he has a lot of regret and wants to do it right with his current wife. What struck me the most was how he confidentally kept saying God is going to heal him, but from my peabrain of a human standpoint, I had doubt. Why? The oncologists say so. The world says so. But, God is greater than all of that. Even so, I was saddened by how much doubt I had. I believe, but help my unbelief. It makes me think of this verse:


He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20


Wow. Both of the patients have been on my mind a lot. And my heart breaks for them...for the patient that died unpleasantly...for the patient that wants a second chance. When you are faced with death, what do you think about? I think about life. How, once again, I continue to take things for granted. I think it's sad that we continue to do so until something major happens or epiphanies occur. Let us be merry, let us love one another, let us strive for God. Yet, even if I have these realizations, it seems to always resort back to taking things for granted. It takes constant reminders to fight the good fight.

Continually thinkthinkthinking,
Tammy